DON'T LISTEN TO THE DOG.

Here's a confession that I feel compelled to make. It's not particularly shocking or interesting, but it's clogging up my mind-tubes at the moment and I can't seem to do anything about it, so I'm foisting if off on your poor beleaguered eyes. Enjoy.

I've got voices in my head. Not in a tragic, schizophrenic way--I don't have anthropomorphic animals telling me to kill major political figures--or a religious way. They're voices of people that I want desperately to be like, the voices of people that I idolize wayyyyyy the hell more than I ought to. They're the voices of my ideals.

Anyone who has had a conversation with me recently (and I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I know that I'm doing it, but I honestly can't help it) probably knows that lately the number-one voice has been that of the Mighty Boosh. For those of you who don't know who they are (and again, since most of you who read this are my friends, that's unlikely), they're this British comedy group with a TV show and various tours. They're whimsical, they're endlessly imaginative, they don't seem to experience limits to what they can and can't do. The best thing about them, though, is just to listen to the leaders of the group, Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding, in interviews. Do it now, actually--it's better than reading whatever I happen to churn out here.. I'll be here when you get back. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQBYdtGSvLA

It's effortless, right? The way they flit from subject to subject with one another, turning out great ideas that make you laugh just thinking about them. (I said I idolized them, I wasn't exaggerating). And so I have their voices clogging up my brain, making it hard to get any real thinking done. I want to be them, to have that manic creative energy, to be able to come up with situations, one-liners, quips, jokes, cavorts, adventures like that at as easy as breathing. That's the dream, isn't it? To turn a game, to turn a joking conversation into a career?

Of course I will always have Tina Fey's voice in my head, more as an encouraging voice than as inspiration. Again, anyone who has ever talked to me knows how I feel about Tina Fey--specifically that I want to have her babies and more or less worship the ground that she walks on. Lady is awesome, hands-down. There were famous TV writers and show-runners before her--but she was one of the first women to actually make a name for herself as a writer first and an actor second. She's the anti-Chuck Lorre (she is actually talented and she turns out a good product), and the world needs more of those superheroes.

Finally, I'm going to have to confess that I have Tamora Pierce's voice in my brain. She's the oldest tenant there, in that she moved in when I was about eight and I haven't been able to get her out since. My first short story, embarrassingly titled "Princess of Thieves," which I wrote when I was 11, was pretty much a photocopy of the Alanna series. And here I am, 20 years old, and I'm still engaging in a lively, enthusiastic, and--above all--heartfelt debate with my friends and my sister about who should be cast in the absolutely imaginary movie of that series. We care about this series, even twelve years later. I'm not eight years old and I still remember vast sections of the books and carry her characters close to my heart. Tamora Pierce is the woman who started me writing in the first place. She's a good voice to have around.

(If anyone is curious about the cast list we have come up with so far, it is--with a few of my own embellishments, sorry Lauren--Eoin Macken as George, Ian Somerhalder as Duke Roger, Stephen Fry as Sir Myles, Isaiah Mustafah as Raoul, Bradley James as Gary, Colin Morgan as Alex, Camilla Belle as Thayet, and Jamie Bamber as Liam Ironarm).