Screw Edward and Jacob, I'm Team Conan

I'm going to go out on a limb here (sarcasm) and say something that I know will be pretty incendiary (scarcasm) amongst people of my generation (sarcasm).

Jay Leno sucks.

Please, hold in your indignant screams. Quell the mob, put down the pitchforks, douse the torches. I know what you're thinking. "Caitlin!" you're thinking. "You may be beautiful, witty and intelligent, but you are also wrong. And this whole NBC thing isn't Jay's fault! Conan's as much to blame for all the shifting as Jay is--he took the Tonight Show gig after all!"

Well, nonexistent reader, you have a point. NBC execs played checkers with late-night television, and Jay and Conan were both kings (Jimmy Fallon wishes he was a king, but he's barely a--what do they call a single checker piece? A pawn? Nope...moving on.) But even at the beginning, when Jay was doing his dog-and-pony horror-circus five nights a week during Primetime, it was evident that he was a jerk and that the far worthier comedian--I am referring, of course, to Conan--was getting shafted in a major way.

Don't appreciate my comments about Jay? Just look at his first show--that interview with Kanye West. Now, I'm not going to defend Kanye's interruption of Taylor Swift at the VMAs since it was some pretty funny shit, but still. When a guy comes onto your show to apologize for making a disturbance at the Video Music Awards (we're not talking the State of the Union, or even the Golden Globes, people), you should let him speak. And not accuse him of letting down his dead mother.

His.

Dead.

Mother.

Jay, you are a prick. A prick with a humongous chin that is about the same size as Mount Trashmore, only less graceful. (Cheap shot. I should be ashamed. I'm not.)

On the other hand, we have Conan, a man with a good sense of how to host a late-night talk show and a great sense of self-deprecating humor, getting left out in the cold. I guess the only good thing that's come out of this talk-show-host Twister (besides the increasing jobs for scripted-TV writers...SCORE) is that it's really whipped the Conan fanbase into a bit of a frenzy. His funny-yet-indignant public letter left readers with no doubt that this is a man who is being victimized by the network--but better than that, that while he's a victim, he has his limits. He knows when to say "fuck off," even if it's to the network he's been a part of for decades.

You can't help but respect that, I think.